Monday, September 12, 2011

When the Heart Is Heavy With Hurt...the Story Gets Put On Hold

A few weeks ago, I was informed my uncle was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer. It was a kick to the gut for sure. Some say,"Well it's just an uncle and a great uncle at that", but to me he's not just another relative who has hit his senior years. To me, my uncle JC and Aunt Jean was every bit a huge part of my growing up and life. Many of you know, I was raised by my grandparents and since my Aunt Jean was my grandma's sister and my Uncle JC was my papow's nephew-there were ALOT of functions we often did together. We all went to the same church, papow and uncle JC for many many years worked at the same GM plant here in Marion, there were dinners and summer evenings spent at their home or they at ours, and the list of memories goes on. My uncle JC taught Sunday School, played guitar and was musically inclined with many other musical instruments, sang, and was a true craftsman when it came to wood working after his stroke which left him unable to speak and his left side paralyzed. My uncle JC was not going to not walk, and little by little he got to where he could walk and often took leisurely walks. The greatest loss though was his speech. He's 83 now and has been given 3 months to live. My heart is breaking and the tears won't seem to stop! I know death comes to us all-our human lives are finite! No one lives forever, but it just seems as if 83 years is just not enough! I can't stop the "Why" and "How Come". Those are answers I will never know. My grief and sadness is nothing compared to what my Aunt Jean and their sons are going through-what their grandchildren must be going through. I guess another reason why it hits so hard is because he and my grandfather were more like brothers. They had grown up with eachother and both married sisters. When my papow was lying in that hospital bed, 6 years ago-it was my Uncle JC who stood beside me and held my hand with his right one. It was hurting him too. They were so much alike in their kindness and loving ways as well as being loving parents. I remember before he was unable to do his woodworking-he built my daughter a toy box for her 2nd birthday. I still have it and it holds my son's toys. So many memories and they're all precious to me and they'll be what we'll all have when he's no longer here but that doesn't lighten the heart and it doesn't take away the hurt. So right now everything is on hold. It's as if my creative juices with the stories I've been working on have frozen. So I guess what I can say-and I know it's cliche-If you have someone dear to you-make sure you go to them and tell them what they mean to you and hug them because once they're gone-that's it. Thanks for putting up with me today-and I hope to get back to posting about books, writing, movies, and other things soon.

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