Saturday, September 18, 2010

White Picket Fences

My wedding day was the happiest day of my life! It was a day of enchantment; the beginning of a fairy tale. It was as close to my dream of a wedding as money would allow. When he saw me, I couldn't overlook the pride and love in his face, he even shed a tear as my dad walked me down the aisle. The vows we took were timeless and all I could do was see the life we would share before us. Our honeymoon was filled with passion and romance. Those were the happiest days of my life!

The first time he hit me, I didn't know what to think! My heart broke and hurt worse than my face or my rib cage. He kept saying over and over "Why did you make me do this to you?" I even believed I had indeed done something to make him do this to me. So I tried even harder to be the wife he wanted me to be. After he would hit me, he always was sorry, he always cried and begged me to forgive him. Then in the blink of an eye, he'd be raging on me once again. When I became pregnant, I thought he would stop, but he didn't! To save the life of our unborn, I left and went back home. He came for me! My dad was furious and even got into a horrible fight with him. For weeks, he told me that he was getting help and he would never hit me again and he would die without me. To my parents's dismay, I went back. I didn't want a broken home or to be a single mother, and he seemed so sincere! It was about a month after our first child was born that the beatings and the fights started back up. I got to the place where I walked on shards of glass not eggshells. I left several times after that and tried to stay with friends instead of family because I had already hurt them enough, but he always came and I would go back. The night he beat me so badly I had to be taken to a hospital, I finally had enough, and filed the charges to have him arrested. I got a restraining order but he walked right through that. When it didn't end there, I finally filed for divorce and was granted full custody of both our children. I thought that I could piece back some semblance of a life, but it wasn't meant to be. He came one day and broke into my little apartment and stabbed me twenty-two times! He's in prison now, and my children live with my parents. I watch them from time to time hoping that they don't make the same mistakes I made. I hope that they never hit another person in anger or rage. I sit here at Serenity Hills cemetary looking at my grave, and think about the happiest days of my life and how I had the big house with the white picket fence that now sits empty.

This is not my story but it's the story of so many women and even men who are the victims of Domestic Abuse. If you are a victim of Domestic Abuse, there is help out there! You have a voice and the grave does not have to be the extreme that things have to come to! Please get help if you or someone you know is in this kind of relationship! It's not your fault-its the abuser's fault and the only help you're going to give them is to get yourself help and get out!

Love never means having to say your sorry nor does it mean having to be a punching bag! Love is never selfish nor does it demand a payment in blood!

Love never makes you feel ashamed nor does it mean living in fear!

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