Tuesday, October 18, 2011

September 1999

I'm going to break from my usual blogging about books and writing. September 1999, my daughter was a Preschool student at Center Elementary. While she was adapting to schooling, little did I know I would meet a friend that would make such an impact on my life. I don't want to put down the few others that I have considered my Best Friend-they all are unique and special to me, but Chasity McKnight was the first person I ever encountered that was on the same wave length as me. We were more like sisters. We liked crafting, we loved the same types of movies(except I love horror movies and she hated them), most music we could compromise on(although she nearly killed me with the Toby Keith), we both were raised by grandparents, raised in church, and were ready for whatever adventure struck us! We were two ADD peas in a pod! Actually it was why we gave eachother the nicknames "Peas" and "Carrots". I was the red head so of course you can figure which one of us was "Carrots". We talked about the future alot. When our girls were old enough, we wanted to go on one of those Mother/Daughter road trips and when our kids were out of school and grown, we had planned on celebrating our "independence", however she never would go for seeing Chippendales with me in Vegas, but I often brought the idea up. When she moved to Bluffton, my biggest regret is that I never did go to see her. I had a bad car that kept over heating and the one time I did manage to try to get up there, my car overheated and my dad had to help me get it back home. I got preggers in 2004 and had a baby boy in 2005, and she was all into being "Aunt Chassie" to him. My grandpa died before my son was a year old, and I won't go into the grief that hit me with his loss, but she was right there with me! She never let a day pass where she didn't call me 100 times and at the funeral she was there with those loving arms. September 19th, it was a morning like any other. I was up trying to get Olivia off to school plus changing diapers and giving my son his morning feeding. He didn't sleep well since he had refux.Like clockwork, the phone rang, and it was Chasity-for our every day morning chats. She was having a tree in their yard removed and I was trying to keep from yawning-not from boredom but from lack of sleep. Olivia went off to meet the bus and I was still on the phone. We talked a little bit longer and had made plans to meet that weekend. I had recently taken up being an assistant troop leader, and she had some things to give me plus we hadn't seen eachother in awhile. She could hear the weariness in my voice and I promised her I would call her later. Later never came. She went out to her back porch to take pictures of the tree and the men cutting it down. At 3p.m. I got a call from her sister and I swear when she told me Chasity had been killed, I actually thought I was being pranked. I had to turn it on the news and there it was. My chest locked up-I couldn't breathe for the tears that were bursting forth and the immediate grief that was ripping from my chest. I called my husband at work, who still had an hour to go on the clock and I couldn't even speak-I was hysterical. He of course came home. For the next few days I couldn't stop crying and then the day came of her wake at a funeral home in Bluffton. I couldn't stop shaking. I felt dizzy and sick all at the same time. I entered and there was her family-her church all surrounding her husband and children with so much love and support. Her sister was one of the first people to grab me up and hug me. I couldn't stop from breaking down when Kena grabbed hold of me. I didn't want to break down-not in front of her children who had lost their mother. However, I couldn't help it. I just put my hand over my mouth to stop myself from wailing aloud. My husband got me to the refreshment room and got me sat down. It hadn't been but 8 months since I had lost my papow and now I had lost my best friend. Was I on God's bad side or something? I couldn't think of anything particular that I had done to offend him. People would tell me, "Well God only takes the good ones" or "It was God's plan, we don't always know the 'why', but it was his plan for her to rejoin him in heaven" and while that should have made me feel better it didn't. I kept thinking about her children-because Chasity was hung over the moon for her babies. They meant the world to her and nothing was as important as her relationships with them. There was not a day that went by when she didn't talk about what miracles they were and she was so very proud of them. Now, their lives were changed because of a freak accident. I kept thinking, "Why God, why? Why would you allow such a thing?" I still don't know if I've ever made my peace with God over that one but what I will tell you that lives are finite. They aren't meant to last forever, and you should never take anything in life for granted! Tell your loved ones how much you love them, let your friends know how much they mean to you, and don't forget to let your children know how much you love them throught he good, bad, and grape jelly stains on their shirts! Make time to visit your friends and loved ones-take the time to call them. If you've had something that has put a strain on your friendship-then fix it! Admit wrong, swallow pride-because once someone is gone-there is no second chance! Me and Chasity never did argue about anything. I don't remember ever being mad at her-ever! I have had tiff's with other dear friends-tiff's that seem so trivial and if I haven't made it up to them, then it's on my short list of things to do! Tomorrow, Chasity D. Mcknight will have been gone 5 years and more than ever I still miss her and grieve her passing! I also am grateful for the years we were friends and what she brought to my life! I hope I can be half the person she was in life to my own loved ones and friends! Well, without the Toby Keith.

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